Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
