Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
