Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
