Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you win again, gameday.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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