I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
