On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
