Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
