so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
