Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
