Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
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