Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
