I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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