do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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