12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is the high leading the old right now
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
