i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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