just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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