im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
