just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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