ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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