my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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