i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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