butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
