If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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