I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
