Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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