was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After tacos, we're chasing women.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
