I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
