his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
