Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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