I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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