I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
