this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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