So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
