yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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