I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
