Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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