its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize