She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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