He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
be right there i have to get my cape
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
