There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
