like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
