come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
