butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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