So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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