we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
