i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
