i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
