Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
