there was a trapeze. enough said
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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