.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm always down for nudity.
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