I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
