At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Shame - the story of my life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
