So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
