sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
