you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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