I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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