I didn't shave. On purpose
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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