I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he fucked my hip out of place.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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