last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
