What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
